Self Care for Parents
You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup…
In the event of an emergency on an aeroplane there is a reason why parents have to be told to put their own oxygen masks on first. And there is also a reason why this message is still repeated every single flight. It goes against the natural parental instinct to put yourself first. But in the event of a plane crash putting yourself first increases your child’s chance of survival.
Not that I’m comparing parenting to a plane crash but you can probably see where I’m going with this. As parents it is natural that we put our children first, but if we do this to the extent that it is detrimental of our own emotional wellbeing and mental health, then there will be an impact on our children. Stressed out and anxious parents can’t help but project some of that anxiety out into their environment (their family).
Every day I talk to parents who are stressed out and not parenting in the way that they imagined that they would. They have no plan for self-care or if they do it’s is just one more thing to add to the pressures of the day.
I’ve been there myself. There are so many competing priorities that just getting through the day feels like an achievement. There is no time to look after yourself and the pressure builds, and builds, and then builds a little more.
So What Can You Do About It?
Well you can’t create more hours in the day, so you have to work with what you have got. The key to getting this right is to be more intentional in how we do use our time.
Does mindlessly scrolling on your phone actually achieve anything? Not really, but it’s an easy trap to fall into when you are tired at the end of a long day, or you have woken up early, or if you have 10 minutes peace in the middle of a busy day at work.
A good starting point to self care is thinking about how you could spend the time available to you more positively. Little changes can make a big difference. Knowledge is power and provides motivation so knowing more about the impact of self-care practices on our minds and bodies is hugely beneficial
I’ll give you a quick example:
The Impact of Green Spaces
We’ve all heard that moving more will benefit our mental and physical health. But did you know that there numerous research studies have shown that spending time in nature positively impacts levels of attention, cognitive functioning, and overall health and happiness?
So, if you know the extent of the benefits that 30 minutes walking in nature will have, compared to 30 minutes scrolling on your phone, does that help your motivation to get off the sofa? It does for me. Going out for an early morning walk means starting the day feeling more focused and less anxious.
Next Steps…
The overriding message is that self-care for parents isn’t about setting goals to run marathons or feeling frustrated that your busy life stops you from looking after yourself. It’s about using the time that you are able to find in your day in the most beneficial ways possible.
But I’ll confess I’ve only been able to look into research on self care since I’ve been a lot less busy. The good news is that I’m happy to do the work for you and share what I have learned.
In the next few weeks I’ll be launching my email newsletter and sharing articles to my website which will include loads of self-care tips for parents, with the science to back them up. Keep an eye on my social media for updates.
If you recognise the impact that your stress and anxiety levels are having on your parenting and would like some support to be able to manage this better then contact me for more information on parenting coaching. You can just fill in the form below and I’ll call you back. Or click to find out more.
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