The Map is Not the Territory
September 12, 2023 / / Leave a comment / Anxiety, Behaviour, Confidence, NLP Related, Uncategorized / #behaviourmanagement, #childmentalhealthsupport, #mentalhealth
The Map is Not the Territory
This is a simple but important phrase. It means that our representation (memory) of a situation will not be exactly as the reality of the situation. Our internal representation will be influenced by numerous factors which are individual to us and the situation. In the same way that a map will always be a simplification of the territory it describes.
I like to play a little game with the children I work with. We both write down 7 things that we are experiencing at that very moment. These could be things that we hear, smell, see, taste, feel or even the thoughts in our head at the time. We then compare our lists. There are usually one or two things in common, but most things are different.
We then talk about how weird it is that we are sitting in the exact same place but our experience of that moment in time is really different.
So how does that help us?
It is an important learning experience. Children naturally tend towards being very self-focused. Helping them to recognise, from a young age, that their unique perspective will differ from others can help reduce conflict and frustration.
If you know that others will see the world differently to you then it is much less annoying when others don’t share your perspective.
Think of the child who has had an argument with their best friend. Children will often feel that if someone’s recollection differs then the other person is lying. This feeling of distrust and injustice adds to the conflict and they can become fixed in their positions.
Children who are more aware of how perceptions differ are much more able to resolve conflict in a positive way or be able to avoid it in the first place.
For the teachers reading this let’s think about how much less teaching time would be lost if children were more able to resolve conflict!!!
Find Out More
To find out more about how NLP techniques can help shift your child’s mindset give me a call or send me a message.
Jo
Jo Atkinson – NLP4kids Therapist and Parenting Coach
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